Death Hacks
Dying is the last purchase your family makes on your behalf, and it’s the only one where nobody comparison-shops. These tools are our attempt to fix that: tongue in cheek, numbers dead serious, every figure sourced. The funeral industry will be fine.
The tools
The Death Arbitrage Tool
The same cremation costs $1,000+ more on one side of a state line. Run the arbitrage for your state.
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The Casket Markup Calculator
The same casket sells for $1,800 at one funeral home and $5,595 at another. See the three prices of every box, and your right to bring your own.
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The DIY Funeral
In 40 states your family can legally do the entire funeral themselves. The checklist the industry hopes you never read.
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The Haggle Script
The exact words to say to a funeral director, generated for your situation. Federal law is on your side.
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The straight version
Behind every joke here is a documented number and a real consumer right. Funeral pricing varies wildly for identical services, itemized price lists are required by federal law, and families who compare even two providers routinely save four figures. If you’d rather skip the jokes, start with the funeral costs tool or the direct cremation guide.